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Posts Tagged ‘humor’

Don’t call me Blimp
Puleeze, don’t call me Blimp. You have no idea how hurt I have been being disrespected. Yes, I am large but that is no excuse to call me names.
Inside, I have so much to be proud of. If you do not know me, you have no right to pass judgement.
Inside this huge body, I have the latest and greatest innovations of observation. Did you know that I am programmed to find out stuff. So do not call me Blimp.
I can fly. If you come around and taunt me, it must be that you do not believe it. I can fly around and look for important things which I report on. I have an important role to play in security of the homeland. I can record stuff. If you have done nothing for homeland security, get off my back. 
I have heard men talking about why can’t I do more. They check all these systems as if I have returned from a mission. They call me blimp and criticize. I am too large. I am too thin skinned. They wish I had more color.
In the meanwhile, they have me tied up. I thought this was the Land of the Free. They call this mile-long chain a tether. But it is a restraint. Should I be able to move in and around in a mile wide pivot, but oh, no! There is so much in the way: trucks, dumpsters, tin buildings, even piles of building materials. I guess they intend to give me a family. A family they want to call Blimp A, Blimp B etc. Why such a limited vocabulary? I would like a name. Like the spaceship I am. Or like a telescope. Hubble sounds nice.

After taking so much verbal abuse, I longed to get airborne, to sail on the waves of the wind. To unleash my tether and leave the earth for my mission. I want to travel and see what is more than a mile circle. Which of course, I can barely see the ground in front of me. The ground under me is bare? Do I shut out the sun with my shadows?

Once I get loose, my gas will be useful. Ha ha to taunters calling me just a bag of hot air. I am filled with helium and ready to go. As I have plotted this journey, I know it sounds crazy. Those men who come inside poking around will not approve. But it will be better than sitting here. Bugs, small animals and kids think I am an ice rink or a pile of snow from New Jersey.

So here goes. An October Surprise. Fall Foliage Tour from the sky. I am cruising along. The trip of 2015. I am well-prepared for this. Sometimes flying low and aiming higher until I see what the Impressionist painters saw. Next time I will find a tornado wind and go to the moon. If I can. Maybe Mars.
Oops, those are Fighter jets following me. Now side by side. I wish I could wave to let them know it is a game.
They are going to change the air. I drop down more often. The ribbon of highway, the toy cars and trucks. Not sure about these wires. I may not clear them. Still got my tether. And I did not. Landing safe and did not cause any accident.

Note:

The news reported that fighter planes were scouting the Blimp and considering shooting it down.
Later

Well, I guess I have done it. I did this all by myself. No terrorism involved. Landed safely without losing the secret instruments. But my repair bill will be a lot. They are shooting me. The helium is going out. Probably won’t hurt the environment that much. Still shooting. 
Much later

It was reported that 150 bullets were shot into the Blimp before using cranes to lift it out of a ravine. But then it was denied. 
The definition of “blimp”

https://www.wordnik.com/words/blimp
Links to news 

http://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/worlds-largest-aircraft-might-lose-its-title-blimp-180956677/
http://thebea.st/1RBSLqR

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Newspaper format from website

Newspaper format from website

The online source for creating your own newspaper clipping is The Newspaper Clipping Generator

http://www.fodey.com

 

Notes:

I did not record the attempt to view the art at the gallery mentioned in the newspaper. It dd not say a private showing or Opening. We took the bus going to the address and when we were ready to get off, the driver said we could not enter the grounds. Facing us was an enormous wrought iron gate, locked. It did seem strange that the mention in the one newspaper did not mention that the general public would not be welcomed.

We did pass by Miss Olive’s Guest House. A lady was sweeping the dirt front yard and the house was painted purple.

 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

from my family to yours.

 

 

 

 

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Black Santas on Christmas Eve

Caught in the Act

the camera caught a jam session in my house

they were quiet as a mouse

that tapping of feet

when I could not sleep

were Santas dancing

to the beat.

 

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Did many-times presidential aspirant, really say that he is recruiting billionaires to run for office? Yes, he did. Ralph Nader has decided to pass his mantel to some deserving billionaire. The movement will be decided by a judge of one. Ralph Nader.

His new theory is that a billionaire, as president, would bring forward all of the solutions Nader has promoted. This is based on the realization that he is not the best in the political heat. He did make an effort strong enough to stop Gore from winning. At least, that has been one post-election theory. No one can carry the election without a 51 state organization. Obama has proved that.

But why recruit from billionaires who will answer his call? He said he has received some interest to evaluate. He did say they were in the optimal group because they have demonstrated the welfare of others is important. I can not quote him, but I am certain his words are on the internet.

Nader has, without doubt,a greater knowledge of billionaires than most of us. And there are some good guys. They have the option of spending their money on good causes as they see fit. Or not. They have learned the value of the bottom line. And for some, getting there may not be from being overly generous with workers, consumers, or the under-employed.

But, who am I to have an opinion? Ralph Nader will pick his rich puppet and the voters will decide. I hope to learn the criteria used in his or her selection.

Of the pool of billionaires, how many were born in the U.S.? What business and inheritances made their financial successes? Where and how is their wealth invested? What public statements indicate knowledge and expertise in governing?

In other words, how would a hand-picked candidate, responsible to one man’s idealism, stand up against polished politicians? It might be refreshing. Who knows?

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English: The logo for Apple Computer, now Appl...

English: The logo for Apple Computer, now Apple Inc.. The design of the logo started in 1977 designed by Rob Janoff with the rainbow color theme used until 1999 when Apple stopped using the rainbow color theme and used a few different color themes for the same design. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Update!

There is something to be said for serendipity or mental telepathy. As soon as the post was proofread, I pushed publish as the phone was ringing.

You guessed it! My favorite Mac store called to say my new computer was ready to be picked up. Now the real work begins. Am I excited, yes. Do I still think it would have been nice to have my purchase a month or more ago, yes.  Would I have cancelled the order in favor of another brand, never.

For all consumers here and now, please have the inventory for quick delivery. We are impatient people.

An apple a day

Mashable.com reports on the advertising app Apple is making for iPads and I am only thinking, “Why?”

Judith (booksbyjudith.wordpress.com) reports that her self-publishing efforts with the new iMAC has given her problems. And I am thinking, “Wonder if I would have the same problems.”

I am asking myself, “Why did Apple make the new, beautiful, thin MACs so difficult to upgrade?”

We, the Apple loyalists

Decisions on what to purchase, even by dedicated Apple-users, are made carefully. We are influenced by more than the ‘pretty face.’

Once we are ready to add to the annual toys, we are READY. It would be nice to walk out of the store with the box. It need not be gift wrapped. We know we may need help getting the new computer from the car to the house. The route and needed assist are as well-thought out as getting the nursery ready for the new addition. We are READY.

Never before have we had to wait, wait and wait for our purchase. Never before have we asked and received the blank stare. Like where is the computer? Like when will it arrive? These questions should not be too difficult to answer. And especially since the bill has been paid and we are READY.

Then, adding to the frustration, the old computer with the dancing screen, seems to know its best days are over. One day, it does its best. The next it seems in a slump of resignation. Reluctantly, it is as READY as we are to move on. A divorce is on the way. A  faster version may get here while still young and pretty or it may have aged in its travels. It may have battle scars and be as needy as the five-year old on my desk. Who knows?

Apple, Apple, we love you. We have worn out a museum full of every version you have made. Our toys include the iPADs and a few iPHONEs.  We have no complaints. We and they have served you well. We do not begrudge your need to promote your growing inventory, but please, ship the invisible iMAC soon.

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Quit update – tech failure

Twitter from Fine Art America, home of bettye-harwell.artistwebsites.com:

Massive failure they are working on.

Follow their progress at

@fineartamerica

Reassuring that I know where I can be found.  (WordPress,Facebook,twitter)

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"Self-Portrait"

Photo of abstract painting and artist

 

Something is in the air. Not just the cold winter breezes. But my website

bettye-harwell.artistwebsites.com

and

skype

are down, down, down.

What next?

We exist inside the large and small boxes. Our identity is packaged and molded by 140 carats or the ping of email. Notifications now on my computer show (15) This is election day (delete/snooze).’  Since I voted early, I shall snooze.

Have you tried to look at my website art? If no one can find it, be assured that when it finds me, I will post it.

Who knew?

Internet Archives is a free website for books and music and other cool things. Their goal is to digitize all books and provide other digital services . The YouTube documentary shows a wonderful side of the business which is headquartered in San Francisco.  Be sure to see the chapel.

I like this site very much and have downloaded useful materials. From their newsletter:

Documenting the Internet Archive

A BBC film crew visited the Internet Archive earlier this year; here’s their story.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6rsPgnA87Q

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